all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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