Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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