i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
