Your face is a jimmy john
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
