i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
