Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
