I can tuck mytits in my pants
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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