I accidentally burped into my bong.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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