At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
