I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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