The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
