GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize