Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
