No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
