I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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