I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
