Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
