Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
are you so shy because you have an std?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
