you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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