Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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