He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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