I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
