One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
