I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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