for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he just fucked me for my cheese..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
