I think I am morally bankrupt
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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