fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
