Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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