K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
