No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
