i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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