Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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