Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
