Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
