At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
