Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
