I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize