I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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