Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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