If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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