Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
