I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
