i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
