shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
