white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
