we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
