Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
