i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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