The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
