And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
