I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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