I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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