Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
jump out the window naked night went bad
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
