I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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