I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
