The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
