I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
