OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the day after is always just damage control
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
