we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
